Chapter 1: Waking up in paradise
"Nigga, what the fuck do you mean I'm stuck in the Goddamn monkey nigger cotton picking underworld?" Camilo screamed at Armandio
"Aye look bro you're the one who smoked a fuck ton of weird ass drugs with them white folks. Ain't nobody told yo dumbass to do all that! Didn't yo damn mama tell you don't go higher than weed nigga?" Said Armandio as he smokes 4th-dimensional crack.
"Gimme some of that 4th-dimensional crack," Camilo says with his arm held out in need of 4th-dimensional crack.
"No nigga you smoked enough and God is already pissed the fuck off at me for letting you kill yourself. Now you have to get out of this mess or we both gonna get slammed for two eternities."
"Slammed?" Camilo asked.
Armandio then brings him to a pit where there are a plenty of gay men recording themselves slamming needles of meth into their thick veiny arms and then fucking each other without consent or proper douching and lubrication techniques, then are forced to sign a non-disclosure agreement as to what went on as they suffer emotional trauma and confusion. Then after the anal foul-play, they are assigned a trained human psychology graduate from the University of Vanderbilt to help them work through the confusion they are facing that they are not allowed to disclose for contractual reasons. After the therapy session, they slam more meth into their arms and begin to fuck POV style on a Go-pro.
"Wh-What the fuck kind of punishment is that?" Said Camilo as he looks at Armandio in confusion.
"People get what they deserve Camilo." Armandio replied
"Why the fuck do we deserve to get raw dogged by a meth user, become a meth user. GET FUCKING TREATMENT??? And then it all gets recorded on Go pro? For fucking who?"
"Camilo can you stop being a fucking gay nigger boy faggot for like three seconds and Shut the fuck up my nigga. You annoying as hell. Are you going to figure a way out of here or not my nigga it's plain and fucking simple." Said Armandio as he pulls out some 6th-dimensional crack and sparks it up.
"Well, you're supposed to be my fucking spirit guide why the fuck did you let me smoke all of that DMT?" Camilo says getting closer to Armandio's face in anger.
Armandio then glides back as he takes a puff from his crack pipe and says…
"Camilo, we've been through 24 years of you ignoring me and look at what the fuck happens do you even remember how much you smoked?”
Camilo takes a pause and then flashes back to what happened that day.
*15 hours earlier*
Camilo is riding in the passenger side of a snow bunny's car named Macy. She knows who he is because she watches his story on the Snap-Doodle every day.
"Oh my fucking God I can't believe Yung fucking Camilo is in my fucking car right now! You wanna do coke?"
"No" Sighs Camilo "I couldn't overdose on it," he says as he looks down
Macy then pauses and ask "You want to try 5-MEO-DMT?"
Camilo then smiles and looks at her and says "Someone likes to read fucking minds huh?"
Armandio then appears in the sky for Camilo and says "Aye look bro it's cool if you smoke some of this shit. But keep it at one hit bro… 3 hits maximum or God is gonna fuck me up bro. And by me I mean the both of us."
"Yeah, yeah it's just a drug bro I've done them a million times. What's the worst that could happen?"
*15 minutes later*
Camilo has already defecated on himself out of pure terror twice and is foaming out the dick and mouth as Macy and her white friends chant "Black Lives Matter" in the corner as he smokes his third hit and snorts the 4th off of their Himalayan salt lamp.
As he sees the universe fade into nothingness and black girl magic. An African Caramel Mocha Sex Goddess appears before him and tells him to take another hit.
As it may look like pure bliss and pleasure in Camilo's eyes after ingesting the largest amount of 5-MEO-DMT the people who picked him up in their van had ever seen and or heard of. He was actually seizing up.
The African Tight Pussy Sexy Mocha Avocado Cream Goddess is pushing the pipe closer and closer to his mouth even coming with a hit a that MAGIC SPECIAL FUCKING K(Ketamine). Oh, that fucking bitch she knew a nigga loves that special fucking K.
Armandio then appears and tells the Pussy Pussy Cream Clean Princess Goddess to get the fuck up off his boy like that.
"Aye hoe what the fuck! You know that nigga ain't supposed to be doing no more of the Magic Motha-Fucking K! And he already high as fuck as it" Said Armandio as he held up his spirit pistol and he points to Camilo's dead earth body covered in the fenkle matter.
The bitch then pushes up off Camilo like she didn't just want a nigga to smoke up all that DMT and do all that Ketamine. She then starts spittin some goofy ass demonic shit to his nigga Armandio firing lasers and shit at the boy like he wasn't on some shoot a hoe shit. Camilo then knew Armandio had that shit covered so he did what any real nigga would do in that situation and snorted that Special Motha Fuckin K.
"YOU'LL NEVER FUCKING HAVE HIM AGAIN FAGGOT HE'S MINE NOW!" The demon goddess screamed at Armandio as she shocked him with black girl magic.
"OWWW BIIITTCCHH" He yelled as he was being shocked.
Through the electricity, he is able to lift his arm and shoot her with a 4th-dimensional bullet.
Then that hoe dipped and our boy Yung Camilo was so fucked up that he died in the 4th dimension too. He then woke up covered in spiritual 5th-dimensional feces.
*Back to the present*
"Nigga that wasn't Special Motha Fuckin K nigga!" Armandio yelled.
"Then what the fuck was it?" Camilo said.
"Nigga that was 8th-dimensional Pussy Tryptamines! They are highly psychedelic and will steal your soul!" Armandio screams.
"Fuck... You mean to tell me I got high off some fake shit?" Said Camilo in question.
Armandio then slaps the fuck out of Camilo. But my nigga Camilo don't take no shit and he got my nigga fucked up. So Camilo sauced that nigga Armandio. But they both got up and settled that shit like real dawgs my G.
"Aight bro we got that out the way now let's focus on a way to get out of here," Camilo says out of breath as he back away from Armandio.
As Armandio gets up in a scuffle he says. "Nah my nigga I'm out you're an asshole!"
"Nigga, what the fuck do you mean? You're my fucking spirit guide how the fuck am I supposed to get the fuck out of here?" Camilo cries out to Armandio as he leaves Camilo.
"Just do what your heart says bro. Anyways I'm out."
Armandio fades into the darkness.
Camilo then stands and looks around and lets the words of Armandio resonate in his head and doesn't see how it will help him on this journey. Camilo then realizes he is very horny and is slightly enraged that that whore bitch Goddess didn't give him any pussy.
He walks around aimlessly in the underworld stumbling into all types of gross prostitutes that are sort of worthy of his seed.
An old saggy titty prostitute then approaches Camilo and says "I'll give you a suck for a buck."
This whore had the saggiest titties a nigga had ever seen in his pussy game career. She had only one teeth which meant for a smooth gummy blow on Camilo's ready to be sucked nigger cock. Camilo sees only the benefits to this one dollar suck, but hates having to pay for shit when he could get it for free. And he left his wallet on earth.
Camilo declines and he continues to walk with his aching loins that have not released in 13 whole hours. He feels his case of blue balls getting worse as the search for pussy continues. He considers spilling his seed in some back alley, but apparently if you jerk off in the underworld you burst into flames for 3 days. He picks up on this as he notices a large amount of flaming apartment complexes filled with lonely dorks with porn screaming in the background of all the flaming buildings.
His attention then comes back to his aching balls that are pulsating with hopelessness and then he looks up and sees a Dunkin DouNutts. Much different than the ones on earth. This Dunkin offers Great Coffee, Awesome Pastries, and Blowjobs. Camilo waits in the long line as he holds onto his pulsating balls.
"Alright, that'll be a large vanilla iced coffee with a gluten-free cage-free egg sandwich. Would you also like me to suck your dick sir?" The cashier asks 21 Savage.
"No thanks hoe. Y'all niggas charge too much in the first damn place! And don't you know who the fuck I am bitch?" Said 21 Savage in anger.
"No nigga get the fuck out of here talking all that bullshit!" lashes the cashier.
"Y'all niggas gay!!!" Screams the Atlanta rapper straight out of zone 6 as he tosses the display over in the middle of the store in a huff as everyone records on the Snap-Doodltron. He then walks out without his gluten-free egg sandwich and coffee. Camilo was too busy holding his testicles to realize what was going on or even to notice he was up next.
"Sir… Sir!" Yelled the cashier.
The cashier screams at Camilo as he holds his genitals hunched over. He then rises and greets her with bloodshot tearing up eyes.
" Do you need yo dick sucked sir?" The cashier said.
"Well, what the fuck it look like hoe!" Camilo yells as he whips out his pulsing purple scrotum. The cashier and Camilo look at each other with the same stone-faced expression without a word as Camilo shakes his nutsack and looked at her more intensely and told her.
"Well, it's not going to suck itself hoe!"
She then responds with "It ain't gonna pay for itself nigga!"
Camilo is in fucking shock he has always earned his sex through hard work and cheap means. He would never make himself go as low as paying for any kind of sex.
More tears and snot leave Camilo's face as he cries out to the cashier "Bitch what the fuck do you mean pay for it?"
"Nigga you know the fucking rules you gotta pay for sex around here that's just how it works." She said in a very calm nonchalant type of way.
"Nah but I don't fuck with that!" He screams as he looks around the restaurant for women to seduce, but his blue balls continue to get worse to the point he can barely use his words. And the only woman in the restaurant is the cashier so he is either going to have to give her the cash or pass out where his seed will be spilled in his sleep and he will wake up in flames for 3 days.
As he passes out she says "Look bro I lowkey feel bad. How about I just pay for the blowjob?"
Camilo then screams "I don't need your pity pussy hoe. Take my money!" She then takes the cash and proceeds to give Camilo a game-winning, career changing blow. The other customers watch impatiently as Camilo gets serviced in the middle of the floor. Then that 13-hour long nut begins to reach its escape.
"OH OH SHIT SAY IM THE FUCKING MAN!" He screams at the other customers.
They all meekly say "Um uh you're the man."
"SAY IT LIKE YOU FUCKING MEAN ITTTT!!!" He screams as he pumps her head faster on his cock. "You're the man!" they all say with a little bit more enthusiasm. Camilo then stops the cashier's head looks her in the eye, with the intensity of God and then looks at the customer's right before he orgasms and says.
"You're goddamn right."
Then unleashes the most powerful orgasm the customers had ever seen and completely destroys the restaurant. As the smoke clears you see Camilo walking out with a new all black suit on with the sleeves rolled up and nothing is worn under the coat. His veins pulsating with black blood and his nails are now black claws. His teeth were now rose gold fangs continuously dripping and his eyes shined with darkness. He wore no shoe and the suit was slim fitted to his slender frame.
The cashier is missing her jaw and is scrambling around trying to get help. The other customers are now enraged because they now realize that they can't get blowjobs. A customer then screams out as Camilo as he fixes himself up. "Aye man, I got work in an hour who the fuck is going to suck my fucking dick?"
Camilo looks at the man-demon and then looks out into the street where he looks at his hand and they both watch it surge with black energy. A gorgeous she-demon then walks by them both and he casts the black boy magic onto her as she walks past them.
"Ahhh." Gasped the she-demon-goddess as the black boy magic came in contact with her Black Geurl Magik and it entered her body. And then she looks back and is enamored with Camilo. She then walks up to him and starts to kiss and touch him. The angry customer then screams out at Camilo again " Well how the fuck is she going to suck my dick if she wants to fuck you?"
Camilo then smiles and whispers into her ear and she nods her head with a smile and walks over to the customer. "Now that's more like it." The customer says as he drops his pants. The she-demon then gets down on her knees and bites his cock off.
"Ahhhhhh you fucking bitch!!!!" The customer exclaimed as he turns away jumping in pain and holding his bleeding hole. The she-demon then brings him back, and puts his penis back on and begins to suck it. He orgasms in 10 seconds and is in complete shock as the she-demon wipes her mouth and meets him with leveled eye contact.
"I was just playing with you pussy, calm down," The demon said as her face turned into one that looks exactly like Camilo's.
The customer looks at her then Camilo. Then back at her and then back at Camilo. Until he screams out. "Y'all niggas on some fuck shit" He then runs away in terror only to be crushed by the "Dunkin Donutts" sign that was still loose from the explosion from the massive nutt our nigga Yung Camilo most recently had.
She then turns around to Camilo and says "you're hot what's your name?"
Camilo smiles deviously as they stare each other down and, the homeless man's across the streets erection is beginning to gain esteem through that 40-year viagra fast ohhh Jesus you know this nigga dick been needing that.
"Um... uh yeah, so my name is Camilo… Yung Camilo." Camilo says as he looks away from the old man across the street.
"Aquillia...Aquillia Longboard" She responded.